I recently shared these ideas as things that you 'may' or 'may not' wish or be willing to do; depending where you are in the grief - recovery cycle.    Its like a 'super market' only take those things that you want and ignore the others.   At one time or another, I've used them all in my grief recovery workshops. These are not necessarily in order of importance. 1.  Talk, talk, talk with someone who is a good listener and a caring soul.   (it may be the newsgroup) 2.  Walk outside everyday if you can, don't over do it, 'observe closely' the wonders of nature and the beauty of your surroundings. Walk with another if you wish.   But getting out doors is great therapy and its free. 3.  Carry something in your purse that reminds you of your loved one, or something small that he carried or wore and look at it or feel it from time to time and remember what it signifies. 4.  Visit the grave, you may not be able to do this; but, its not morbid.   Sit, stand, talk, listen, weep, remember or pray, whatever seems appropriate to your mood on that day.   It is a 'holy place' that can become a place of refuge if you allow it to be. 5.  Create a memory book or collage that tells a story about David. Share it with those who care.   On the collage, cut out ads, pictures, works, headlines, etc. from magazines or newspapers, or type some out, and paste them on the collage, neat or messy, and let every item, word or picture be something that tells the story about your loved one.   I've still got the one of my Mom.   I included a couple of photos too.  It takes about 30 minutes for me to share the story with others. 6.  Recall your dreams, as they have a way of revealing your thoughts and fears, even though they may sometimes seem sad or scary, especially early on.   When I have been under duress and stress for several days, I often have a 'star wars' type dream once I get a chance to 'crash' and recuperate.   I've learned its my bodies way of 'releasing' the tension that has built up in my mind and body.    Scared me at first, now I welcome it as a way of regenerating my body and spirit.   Mother nature is pretty marvelous in helping us survive. 7.  Tell people what helps you and what don't, cause they don't know and they are afraid they are going to hurt you.   If you need to hear them say David's name, say so.   If you need more space, say so.  If you need some hugs, say so.  People cannot read your mind, tell them what you need and don't need. 8.  Write things down, as memory of normal things often bites the dust, as its not always easy to concentrate and organize like you used to do.   I keep a Things To Do tablet, or use the post its and stick them anywhere.  9.  Ask for a copy of the funeral/memorial service if what was said and done, was meaningful to you.   They will appreciate your request as it means you liked what they said and did.     I often give people an audio tape of the service and a copy of my _script_. They frequently then request more copies to send to relatives who were not there.  And some tell me they re-read the words and listen to the tape over the years. 10.  Remember the 'Serenity Prayer'  

Tom,   Can we all come live with you?  That was the single most excellent idea list, I am going to print it up and give it to my mom and Gan.  I will also take some ideas myself.(Smile)  Thank you and I am praying for you and your family to continue to be strong...for yourselves and for us.

24.  Create a special space in memory of your loved one.   A shelf on the Baker's Rack, a table in your bedroom, a wall in a hall way, or entrance way, etc. Up til now, I've been too embarrassed to tell anyone that the little shelf alcove in my family room was anything more than 'stuff not put away'. But it's really my little Remembering Dad place. It's just an inverted box, with a cloth over it, with a few Almond Rocas (he was addicted to them), a bar of his soap, a photo, his glasses, little things that were his, or remind me of him. But best of all, there's a tiny silvery windchime from Japan (he loved all things Japanese), and it tinkles everytime anything passes by it. Wherever I am in the house, I hear it, and I smile and say Hi Dad, love you too . It's nice to know I'm not a complete loon, and somebody else thinks this is a good thing to do. It's been good for me anyways.

Chris,   I found your keepsakes very heartwarming.  I think things are nice to have to just remind us of their likes and loves.  You are in my thoughts.  Love, Cheryl

away'. But it's really my little Remembering Dad place. Christine; I like your 'shelf alcove' and I am glad its a special place for you. Now having said that, never ever be embarrassed by what others may think.    Remember this If other people's approval, is more important than your own