Version: 0.4.1 (+/- 250) Fri Jun 14 15:07:42 CDT 2002 Second public revision The alt.folklore.urban FAQ The alt.folklore.urban FAQ is a work in progress and is being modified as you read this. Please stay tuned for further improvements. You can find a Web version of this FAQ with lots more commentary, cites and references at:   <http://www.tafkac.org/faq2k TABLE OF CONTENTS TO THIS AND THE OTHER PARTS OF THE FAQ LIST Part 1         - Urban legends sections:                    - The Misappliance Of Science                    - The 'Plane Truth (What Goes Up...)                    - Does Not Compute                    - Mad Medicine                    - Stupid People Tricks PART 2         - Urban legends sections:                    - Stupid Academia Tricks                    - What's In A Word?                    - Reefer Madness                    - How Firm Is Your Foundation?                    - Kill Your Television!                    - Astonishing Antipodean Antics                    - Lewd Food                    - Snuff Movies PART 3         - Urban legends sections:                    - Upstanding Legends Of The Penis And Scrotum                    - Hide The Salami                    - Disney Dementia                    - Question Authority (And Other Conspiracies)                    - Legal Beagles                    - Wild Life In The Fast Lane PART 4         - Urban legends sections:                    - Astounding Avian Anomalies                    - Doggie-_style_ and Catty-Wumpuss                    - Other Animal (But Non-Buggy) Crackers                    - Arthropod Crackers                    - Urban Angst                    - Take Me To Your Leader                    - Dead Horses AFU Legend Taxonomy Legends are more complicated than can be adequately described by True, False, or Unknown.  There are shades of meaning that get left out, so that quite often these simple de_script_ions are an ill fit.  More de_script_ive power is required, and after much learned debate and profanity, the old system of T, F, U, etc, was replaced with the following: True (formerly T): True according to the laws of nature as currently understood.  Soldiers break step when marching across bridges, because the marching frequency can resonate with the bridge and cause damage or collapse. Documented (formerly T): True according to evidence.  It is true that you must have a permit to own a gerbil in California, and this is proved by reading the California Code of Regulations. In Dispute (formerly U): Credible evidence exists on both sides of the argument.  The Baby Ruth bar very likely was named after Babe Ruth, as his estate contends, yet the Curtiss Candy Company strongly denies it, and has won judicial decisions on the issue.  Until unimpeachable evidence surfaces, it will remain In Dispute. Unknown (formerly U): No evidence exists, with nothing to support either truth or falsehood.  The pot smoker pulled over by the cop for going 5 mph is a common joke, and while no evidence has yet surfaced to support it, it is not so extraordinary that it defies imagination. It is mundane enough to have happened, and unremarkable enough to escape special notation. Unknowable (formerly U): No evidence exists, and no evidence can ever possibly exist.  No two snowflakes are alike is an Unknowable theory. Debunked (formerly F): False according to evidence.  Anti-racism advocates sometimes tell the ironic story that African-American Dr. Charles Drew, a pioneer of blood transfusions, died because the racist hospital refused him the treatment he helped create.  Friends of Dr Drew who witnessed the scene deny this accusation. Impossible (formerly F): False according to the laws of nature as currently understood.  If you wear contact lenses, the myth that they'll fuse to your eyeballs if you look at the arc unprotected is impossible: there is no process that could conceivably cause this. Copycat (formerly Ft): A true occurrence of something in imitation of a preexisting legend.  Poisoned Halloween candy has long been a common legend which lacked all evidence for years, but has fairly recently inspired people to use this legend to attempt murder. Upstanding Legends Of The Penis And Scrotum   Debunked: Model's penis showed in a Sears catalog ad for boxer-_style_   underwear.   Documented: Nelson Rockefeller died of cardiac arrest while porking   a former staff member.   Unknown: Errol Flynn banged out Star-spangled Banner / You Are My   Sunshine on piano/xylophone with his big dong   Debunked: Gangster John Dillinger's long wang is pickled in a jar   at/near Smithsonian.   Impossible: In Nigeria, roving gangs of thieves may surreptitiously   steal men's' dorks.   Documented: Groupies took casts of pop singers' schlongs, inc   Hendrix's whacker.   In Dispute: Adolf Hitler only had one testicle.   Documented: Masturbator's penis in hose chopped by fan blade of   vacuum cleaner.   Documented: Woman slits guy's scrotum, sticks straw in, and blows;   he gets off on it...   Debunked: Child in mall goes to toilet; is abducted; has willie cut   off. [TCD]   Debunked: Drunk joyriding on hood of car, loses parts to hood   ornament at sudden stop.   Debunked: Wife seduces cheating husband then superglues his plonker   while he sleeps. [ The Superglue Revenge in TCD]   Documented: Guy hurts self after sex w/machine drive belt, has self   surgery w/stapler.   Unknown: Health worker in US/Africa demos condom usage to   immigrants/natives with a broom/finger. Woman returns pregnant. She   had used EXACTLY as taught.   In Dispute: Napoleon's wanker was cut off at autopsy and was   recently auctioned off.   Debunked: Number of stars on Playboy cover is # of times Hef banged   the centerfold.   Documented: Public boners are banned in Indiana.   Documented: Couple on UK train had oral sex, then sex, then smoked   in non-smoking area,   Debunked: ...nobody complained until they started smoking;   Documented: ...train crew ignored complaints until couple started   smoking.   Debunked: Young man is at dinner party w/future in-laws. His fiancee   says his zipper is unzipped. He attempts to distract them by   pointing out the window and calling out Look at that! Where 2 dogs   are doing the nasty, or ...he slyly zips up his fly, but when he   gets up, drags the table cloth off 'cause he trapped the cloth in   his fly! Hide The Salami   Unknown: Cuckolded husband replaces contents of wife's pessaries   with lye.   Documented: Mad doctor in Ohio cut off women's' clitoral hoods while   operating on them.   Debunked: Well-known film/TV personality (Richard Gere, various news   broadcasters, et al.) put a gerbil up his ass for wriggly furry   fun .   Documented: People put assorted _object_s up their asses, get stuck,   removed in hospital.   Debunked: Well-known male pop star rushed from concert, stomach   pumped free of semen. [Said of Elton John, Rod Stewart, David Lee   Roth, and Marc Almond.]   Debunked: Spanish fly (Cantharides) is an aphrodisiac   Debunked: Girl slipped spanish fly at drive-in movie; found impaled   on gear shift.   Debunked: Woman tied naked to bed, man in superhero costume with   broken leg in closet.   Debunked: Guy is seduced by woman, tied to bed, and sodomized by   superhero.   Debunked: Hetero couple get stuck together while coupling. Separated   at hospital.   Debunked: One night stand, partner leaves early, other partner finds   message Welcome to the world of AIDS .   Debunked: Female gang initiation ceremony is to screw an HIV+ male   member.   Debunked: Student is regularly nocturnally chloroformed by roommate,   for sodomy.   Unknown: ...This may have actually happened in the Dutch army. Those   officers!   Debunked: Baghdad Betty told US army that Bart Simpson was   sleeping with their wives   Documented: Would-be rapist steals kisses; one Calif victim bit a   piece off his tongue.   Documented: Woman's womb filled with air during cunnilingus; she   dies due to embolism.   Impossible: Woman impregnated while swimming, due to sperm loose in   pool.   Debunked: Woman impregnated when hit by bullet that shot Civil War   soldier's testicles   Documented: Unintentional virgin birth happens occasionally in   bizarre circumstances.   F: Silicone breasts expand under low pressure (e.g. airline   stewardesses on job)   U: Mother threatens to discipline kid; kid threatens to squeal on   mom's fellatio.   F: Husband informed that septic tank/toilet blockage due to too many   condoms; but he doesn't use them; confronts wife, she confesses   affair w/milkman. He waits and shoots milkman next day; but it was a   substitute milkman! [ The Evidence in TMP]   F: Couple goes to love hotel w/hot tub, mirrors, etc. Make the   sign of the eight legged aardvark. Upon return, call up an X-movie   and see themselves! [ Sex Scandals in TCD]   F: A guy picks up a girl at a party. But is unable to perform so   asks a friend at the party to finish it for him. His friend does so   and in the morning, finds that he slept with his sister! Similar   motif happens in a Halloween or other costumed ball setting. [This   and related ULs relating to mistaken identities are discussed in   Mistaken Identity in CBA.]   F: There was a significant increase in NYC births about 9 months   after 1965 Blackout. [ The Baby Train in TBT.]   Tb: A town in Oregon banned all sex.   Tb: Rimming (oral/anal contact) is legal in Utah.   F: Catherine the Great died while trying to have something to do   with a horse.   F: For some reason, a woman is doing the laundry in the nude. She   puts on her son's football helmet, and is surprised by plumber/gas   man who says something like I hope your team wins, lady. [ Nudes   and More Nudes in TVH]   F: Some subdenomination of Jews have sex through a sheet. (See   soc.culture.jewish FAQ). Disney Dementia   T: Disney parks are riddled with secret tunnels and surveillance   equipment.   T: Little Mermaid video cover features good drawing of   penis. Prank? Revenge?   T: There is a basketball hoop at the top of the Matterhorn replica.   T: Male Disneyites may not grow beards (& many other petty rules for   women too) [Applies only to On Stage cast members.]   T: There is a secret Club 33 serving hard liquor, in New Orleans   Square, Disneyland.   T: Clerics in their robes are admitted to Disneyland at   concessionary rates.   T: Wheelchairs & 1 attendant go to the front of the line for rides.   Tb: Disney ripped off Orlando county, thru grabbing Federal road   funds   T: Woman alleges breast-fondling by 1/3 of 3 Little Pigs; case   thrown out.   F: Three little pigs clit-tickled law-suit happy babe, with   non-mobile arms.   F: Child disappears from Disneyland, found with new haircut, dyed by   abductor.   T: SF writer Harlan Ellison fired from Dismall Studios after Mickey   porn joke.   T: Lots of people don't know who H. Ellison is. Lots more don't   care.   T: Harlan Ellison was ticked to hell at snopes.   F: Old Walt Disney's dead body was frozen for later revivification.   F: Child goes for ride on popular ride; feels bites; dies from snake   bites!   F: Water in Tunnel of Love ride infested with snakes. [Both in   Death in the Funhouse in CBA. Stephanie da Silva says this really   happened to her.]   T: Disney caused people to believe that Lemmings suicide in march to   sea.   T: See snopes' Urban Legends Reference Page: Disney for it all. Question Authority (And Other Conspiracies)   U: CIA fixed the Anarchist's Cookbook, so explosive blows up as you   make it.   T: You may own the mailbox, but US Postal Service controls what goes   in it.   T: The CIA, NSA and 11 different secret govt organizations tap & bug   everything   Fb: Hubbard started Scientology after Heinlein bet he couldn't found   a religion. Bill Van Horne actually posted some useful stuff that I   used to change this.   T: alt.religion.scientology FAQ sez F, but I haven't been   converted yet.   F: P&G's logo reflects Satanic or Moonie ties.   F: P&G's president appeared on Donahue to affirm same. [ The   Procter & Gamble Trademark in TCD]   F: On Oprah designer Liz Claiborne said her clothes were not   designed for black women because their hips were too big .   F: On Oprah designer Liz Claiborne said she supports the KKK.   Tb: Candy manufacturers sneakily micro-reduce size of product to gyp   you.   F: Universal Product Codes (computer readable bar-codes) are marks   of Satan.   P: VP Bush persuaded Iranians to delay hostage release to aid Reagan   election.   U: Govt has secret plan to replace the currency overnight to foil   drug barons.   Tb: CIA radio transmits spoken five digit code numbers to operatives   worldwide   T: You can send a coconut thru the mail without any further   wrapping. Yowser!   F: Sticking one of those Postage Paid reply cards on a heavy   _object_ (e.g., a brick) will cost the addressee the postage. [Nope,   USPS tosses it.]   T: Some change-making machines can be fooled by photocopies of   currency.   T: NSA leaned on NIST to propose less secure digital signature   standard than RSA.   T: After a public outcry, NIST allowed a longer key (up to 1024   bits) which made it into the digital signature standard FIPS-186   Tb: The reason DSA was used for digital signatures rather than the   more proven RSA algorithm was that NSA opposes easy public access to   an algorithm that can also be used for general encryption. (RSA   can/DSA can't).   F: Unification Church (i.e. Moonies) owns Entenmann's bakery   F: Unification Church (i.e. Moonies) owns Waldenbooks.   Tb: Unification Church (i.e. Moonies) owns a fish processing plant   in Gloucester, Massachusetts.   U: Those guys selling roses on roads are connected with the Moonies.   T: Entenmann's owned by General Foods, Philip Morris bought, merged   w/ Kraft.   F: Govt regularly burns WWII-era hemp fields. Only high officials   know where.   Fb: Class requests satellite imaging photo; US says no ;(then) USSR   says yes .   F: Compensation paid to kin of Salem witches up to 1957 (per The   Economist).   F: Alleged witches were burned at the stake in the US during the   Salem trials.   T: Alleged witches were hanged or pressed to death.   T: Mass. recanted the Salem trials and freed the witches within a   few years   T: Name of last alleged witch was cleared in 1957.   Tb: Whole business is extraordinarily similar to modern accusations   of Satanism.   T: ...For some leads on satanic ritual abuse, see:   http://www.kosone.com/people/ocrt/sra.htm   http://www.kosone.com/people/ocrt/ra_none.htm   T: Crop circles (at least in the UK) have been shown to be man-made.   T: Mapmakers place copyright traps in maps (e.g., Rand-McNally,   no. Thomas Maps, yes)   Fb: Major firms/gov't suppress evidence of a super great   product(car, light, etc.) [ The Economical Car in TVH and CBA]   T: The USA did have a 49 star flag.   F: Some 1963 $1 bills have a 'K' for JFK, 11 for month of death to   commemorate JFK. [ The Kennedy Note in TMP]   T: Channel 1 for TV existed in the US, but was eliminated by the FCC   in 1945.   U: Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone.   F: An undercover cop must answer yes to Are you a cop? to avoid   entrapment.   Debunked: There was once a female Pope in the Roman Catholic Church.   Debunked: Noted atheist Madalyn Murray O'Hair is petitioning the FCC   to ban religious broadcasting.   F: U.S. Patent Office head once said that it be closed because   Everything that can be invented has been invented.   U: Lots of places are supposedly either 3rd or 22nd to be bombed in   WWIII.   F: Ads for free pets are frequently answered by testing labs for   specimens.   T: Gerald Ford did have a vice president(who is mentioned elsewhere   in the FAQ)   T: Bank policies on ATMs work differently in different areas.   F: The king of Denmark wore a yellow star in solidarity with Jews in   WWII.   F: The Trilateral Commission is working to take over the world.   F: Ditto for the Council on Foreign Relations.   F: Magnetic strips are _embed_ded in US currency for nefarious   purposes.   T: ...See TECHNICAL BACKGROUND SECURITY FEATURES at the   U.S. Treasury Dept.   T: ...Of course, this won't make any difference if you REALLY KNOW   otherwise.   T: There are many, many anecdotal stories describing why US$2 bills   are unlucky.   F: It's illegal to pick Trilliums in Ontario, Canada. Legal Beagles   True: There are lots of places on-line where you can conduct your   own legal research.   True: If you have money to burn on your legal research, you can also   use pay services. If you have that much money to burn, however, just   hire a lawyer; at least you can sue them for malpractice if they   screw up.   Debunked: Guy trims hedges with lawnmower but trims own extremities;   sues; wins big!   Debunked: In the United States, a creditor or seller is legally   required to accept payment in any valid federally-issued currency,   even a bag of pennies.   True: There are legal (but not all-inclusive federal) limits in the   United States on how much of your debts you can pay in coins   ... depending on where you are, and what debt you want to pay.   True: ...For some strange reason, Canadian law is much clearer on   this topic.   Documented: Woman blinded by bottle cap, sued bottling company